It's interesting. When you start over, you give yourself the ability to start with a clean slate. It's the perfect time to change bad habits and create new good ones. Time to make new friends, learn something new, change your address and wardrobe. I've done it many times, mostly with my job, but also relationships. At first glance, people think I have commitment issues, in a way I guess I would agree, but not in the way you would think. I have a problem committing to spend the rest of my life doing something I don't like doing, or staying with a partner who doesn't know how to treat others well and who doesn't respect me as a human being.
However, after 10 years, I have a completely different life than I used to. The people that were in it then are no longer in it now. The people that are here now are ones that I have chosen to be a part of my life, not just by default. In taking life less seriously, I have made very serious decisions on where I am and where I would like to go. Mostly, everyone knows what town I grew up in and that I loved the farm and gardening and can't wait to get back to "it". What they don't know are all the things I had to give up or have gotten away from to get here. Now, I am choosing to bring some of those lost items back into my life.
One thing that strikes me at this moment, as I sit - crafting on a very expensive wool area rug that is now covered in glitter - is that unless you were at my wedding, you probably don't know that I make silk floral arrangements. I mention my wedding because it was my biggest project. I created two large pieces for the alter at the church, two small bouquets for our grandmothers, all the bouquets and corsages for the entire bridal party, plus centerpieces for 20 tables. People spend thousands of dollars for a florist to do the flowers for their wedding and I was able to do it all for a few hundred dollars and several hours doing something I love to do.
I'm reflecting on this now, because by going to work at the craft store, I was given the chance to work with one of the most amazing skilled florists in the area. He didn't work there, he was a customer. He would come into the store about once a month and to look for new inventory, if he found something he was inspired by, he would grab a vase and start filling it. He stood right at the floral counter next to me and swoosh, clip, bend, tweak and flourish until he had a stunning masterpiece in front of him. It was thrilling to watch him take simple branches, stems, grasses and berries come to life before my very eyes. He explained the structure, sizes and quantities along with color and placement. All his techniques, hints and secrets, mine to absorb. My duty was to collect all the tags as he ripped them off and threw them on the counter so he could pay for it on the way out. He always walked out with a completed project and it was always an amazing experience for me. I asked him one day what he did with the finished pieces, he said he would run by the mall and sell it to one of the stores or drop it off at one of the nursing homes in the area.
That was in 1996. I left that job and heard later that the man had passed away. As I sit here, listening to music and creating a simple arrangement for Christmas, I think of him, wondering if he really knew what he left behind and think it's pretty cool.
