I know you all think I have lost my marbles with promoting this book. Let me put it this way.... I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE MY MARBLES WERE UNTIL I DISCOVERED THIS. I would not be where I am now, if I had never discovered this book. (handed to me by my Hesser College professor)
This is the teen version by a different author but it is based on the same theory of learning.
DON'T try and fix what is broke - or never existed. It will only frustrate the HELL out of your kid.
DO ENCOURAGE him/them to pursue something they are ALREADY GOOD AT and are NATURAL TALENTS.
I found an ad for Vodka this morning (in my YOGA magazine), the whole page looked like a lined piece of notebook paper with a line drawn down the middle. On the left it said "what I love to do" on the right it said "what I'm good at". At the bottom was a link to how this simple exercise helped a man realize his passion.
This book/ method (link below) takes that simple exercise to a whole new level. These exercises and quizzes CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF and what you are capable of and that WE ARE NOT BROKEN. We are just wired differently.
PS - MOM, STOP BLAMING YOURSELF FOR NOT RAISING YOUR KIDS CORRECTLY.
You guys did EXACTLY what everyone TOLD you to do. What everyone THOUGHT was the right way to raise children. ITS DIFFERENT NOW. NOW, the children are parents and are realizing that through their own frustrations of growing up - THERE IS A DIFFERENT WAY. Each child is not wired the same way, each child needs individual attention by their parents and teachers to FIND the way the kids learn best, and DON'T ask the kids. They don't know! OR if they have hunches and gut feelings - they don't know how to express them because WE don't know how to express those feelings.
We ALL need to CHANGE the way we think about ourselves and what we BELIEVE TO BE TRUE, for ourselves and for them. How we interact with each other is what the kids have learned and they will continue to mimic us until they are out on their own and have their own lives and realize they can make their own decisions. LEAD BY EXAMPLE. I'm sure as hell trying! I've gotten THIS FAR, but for me, its not good enough! I WILL CONTINUE to learn and grow and change and BE BETTER THAN I WAS YESTERDAY.
There are TONS of these books on Amazon. The one I have is the "Clifton Strengthsfinder" which is one of the older ones and used by psychologists and has created the college course.
I think this is a good place to start for teens, then if they are interested, they are old enough to go looking for what SPEAKS to them.
My other two cents... people NEED to be rewarded for the little things that are positive. Just because they are not living up to what YOU BELIEVE they should be doing -- look for small signs of improvement and reward that! It will encourage them to keep trying, instead of saying, yes, well that's all well and good, but you need to be a 10 not a 5. SOMETIMES a 5 is a 10! Its like karate. Each level achieved is rewarded with a colored belt. Participants KNOW that the black belt is the ultimate reward, however, if they just have to plow through year after year, kick after kick to get that black belt --- they may never achieve it. Some people are just not THAT talented or do not have the physical ability or may just find something else to do. HOWEVER, that does not mean that their efforts should go unnoticed.
25 years after graduating highschool... I still do not have degree. HOWEVER, I started a collection of certificates of courses that I have taken and passed with flying colors. If I framed them all, they would cover the walls in my living room. This is not anything anyone ever asks to see or even knows exists. BUT IT MAKES ME OK with not having a degree. I have work/ life skills that most people my age don't. I have an understanding of working with different types of people in different environments under different conditions in different fields. It makes LIFE easier to deal with when you have empathy for the guy on the other side of the table. It makes you more likable to a wider variety of people. It made me realize people just plug through everyday in their little shells NOT SEEING the big picture or understanding that life is bigger than what is at the end of their nose. It has made me realize I am unique in this ability and that's what I hope to share with other people, so that they may also see and understand better. It's through Facebook and other social outlets that I have discovered there are like minded people out there, even though they may not be in my immediate vicinity, and that makes me feel like I belong to a larger family.
the book
http://www.amazon.com/Color-Parachute-Teens-Third-Edition/dp/1607745771/ref=pd_sim_14_7?ie=UTF8&refRID=1BS1E5H559HZ7W7VFPQE
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